One Year Ago

This time last year I was laying in a hospital room, feeling scared and alone. I had to have a hysterectomy. I had had several problems and the doctor finally said that having a hysterectomy would be the best solution to all my problems. So, reluctantly we agreed.

I kind of got the best of two worlds though because I only had a partial hysterectomy. Which meant they left my ovaries but took out my uterus and my cervix. So, I didn't have to take hormones, but I still didn't have a period! It's been so nice not having to deal with that every month. On the other hand, I've had some hard times off and on in the last year. For a while when I saw someone pregnant it felt so strange to me, knowing that I could physically not do that anymore. Not that I wasn't happy for the person, just a little sad for me. I always wanted to have a big family, but being healthy for the family that I have was more important to us than taking any risks to have another baby. Who knows, maybe adoption is in our future!

All in all the surgery was good for me. I've felt so much more energized than I had for a while. I'm not as tired anymore. And the risks of any more seizures have actually gone down. It's weird how they are connected, but I guess because I was losing sooo much blood and my body wasn't restoring it, it caused everything in me to become desensitized. This lessened my senses making me have blurring vision, headaches, the shakes (which could lead to seizures). Now all that is gone! I know that I was supposed to have this surgery. It hasn't always been easy but it's been a blessing to us. Sometimes the Lord works in mysterious ways.